So, hi Amirul Fitri?

Lama dah tinggalkan blog ni, baru harini rasa tangan macam nak buat karangan merepek kat blog . Hehe nak update pasal apa ni haa ? Okay last sekali 26 may . Lama doh tu :0 Perjalanan hidup sebagai pelajar tingkatan 5 macam biasalahkan study study study tapi aku tak pun . Baca novel , main fon , tengok tv dan makan pasceroh . Ni lah jenis manusia tak sedar diri . Kihkihkih tapi rasa rasa harini nak cerita pasal trial .

Trial spm tu penting dan aku tengok tv.......... haha study last minit memang tak masuk otak . Masuk la jugak tapi sikit . Tu pun kalau dapat skop kalau tak dapat nak baca dari form 4- form 5 ? Simpang 44 lah weh -.- takkan okay takkan . Aku takdelah rajin mana nak baca apatah lagi study . Aku hanya study bila nak exam . Teruk kan perangai ? Ala kau pun gitu jugak jangan nak kecoh ah . Haha 

Disebabkan mak ayah aku letak nama aku start dari huruf S , huruf hujung hujung cerita dia memang aku pun duduk hujung hujunglah kan  . Aku duduk barisan ke lima dari kanan dan belakang sekali dekat dengan pintu keluar . No angka giliran aku lawooo CK048A090 . Lawo okay lawo haha pastu sebelah budak budak tak kacip and boring nak mati . Sumpah kabo boring dan entry kali ni pun boring . Haha jawab exam macam biasalah kan . Kalau nak dapat ilham padang la kiri kanan , kalau mmg tak dapat jugak ilham memang kroh kroh dalam depan tu paling lama tidur waktu exam apa entah tp 40 minit tidur . Hahaha watlek tidur lelama takde orang kejut .

Sebenarnya takde idea nak cerita apa . Sampai sini jelah mampu . Okay bye 

26th May 2013 , Happy 1st Anniversary sayang :) Saya tahu 'us' dah tak wujud tapi saja teringin nak wish walaupun awak tak baca . I hope you're happy with your life and fine other girl that can love you more than I  did , appreciate you more than I did , takecare of you better than I did and do everything that can make you happy more and much better than I ever did . I done I had done wrong towards you . I made tons of mistakes . I was ego , I was selfish , I never care of you but the one thing I did for you was I did not lie when I said I truly love you and I would be miserable when you're not with me . 

26th May 2013 , I promise myself on this day forward I would forget everything about you and move on for good . This is the promise I made for myself and I really hope I can fulfill this wish with success . But the problem is I still can't get over you even it has been more than five months . Did you cast a spell on me or something ? Why the fucking shit so hard for me to move on ? Tell me the freakin' reason ! Tension -.- The way you talk , look , laugh like nothing ever happened between us . NOTHING ! 

22th May 2013 , on wednesday . Two hours before school end . I went to 'bilik seni' and hang there . There was you . Well at first I didn't noticed then you came up sat about two seat away from me then that moment I noticed you . You gave me a chair and you make a joke of me . I was so happy ^.^ nothing can describe my feeling when you smile and talk to me . But it only lasted for a few minutes . Then I talked with your friends and me make a few joke and there you are............. smiling and laughing softly but I took a glimpse look at you secretly . 

26th May 2013 , we tweeted each other like nothing special on this date . Exactly 12:00 am you tweet 00.00 so I guess you remember this date and I so damn sure you remember what date is today . I believed I'm not wrong this time . I believed you remember this day ! Anyway , we tweeted like nothing happen just like before . Even that few tweet can make my day . You bright up my day even with a few tweet . This does not include if you text me , call me , etc . That would make me hundred percent happy . But again..... keep dreaming bella . Keep on dreaming .

26th May 2013 , I tweet ' finally the day I have been waiting for has ended . It is time to forget everything and start a new one . Stay strong girl !' Dudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you have to retweet that ?!! Do you know that tiny thing you'd done can give me a big effect ? Oh boy never think deep -.- boys will always be boys . You had no freaking idea how scare I was at that time . I was afraid maybe you think I have move on so it is your time to move on too and you would fine some other girls too replace me . Here is the think , I don't really care if you're not mine anymore but I am so scare if you replace me . Please stay single even your heart have move on but please don't ever couple . Begging please don't do this to me :( 

26th May 2013 , on this day and forward I hope I can forget you the way you forget me . I never forger your name in my prayer . I prayed so you will always in good health and success in life . Not a day I forget about you . I wake up thinking of you , I go to bed thinking of you . 

27th May 2013 , this is fucking bad day . Everyone is trying to bring my mood down . I'm the type of person who loves to hurt other people with my attitude . I am ego , selfish , only think of myself , never think of others people feeling , dumb , stupid and love to hurt my own feeling . Awesome huh ? It is so awesome to be me . 

Here I am saying I am sorry for everything . I make a lot of mistakes that I myself didn't notice . But if you know I am wrong please let me know so I can change to become a better person . By the way , I am sorry for hurting you but please don't you go away from me again . I can't promise to love you till the end of mylife but I as long as you trying I promise to love you . But it is too late for everything . So , goodluck with your life , please don't you forget about us even you replace me with some other girl . I promise to remember our moment whether it's good or bad memory . Pray for me so I can get over you as fast as I can . Cross my heart , I love you :)

FINALLY ! They day I've been waiting for  has finally arrived . What day are we talking about ? Lol of course laa my sweet 17th birthday . 17 babe 17 :) Old enough to get my driver license . Woohooo ! But here is a thing.... I don't feel special today . I felt today is no different than the other day . Eh wait poyo nak speaking . Bm sudah . Tak rasa apa apa pun , just the same ordinary day at the other day . 

Tepat 12:00 , 12 Mei 2013 kawan - kawan wish birhday and tengah syok reply tweet wechat whatsapp text tetiba............. jeng jeng jeng *drumroll* he wished my birthday :O Aku tak kisah kalau kawan - kawan yang lain wish I mean kawan kan so dah biasa tapi dia dia dia dia him !!! Serious tak expect langsung . Time tu tengah reply wechat lepas tu ada mesej masuk terus nampak 'Happy Birthday......' then baca nama omg :O bulat mata , terkejut gila . Laju je tangan bukak mesej dia . Time tu hati ni dah dup dap dup dap , tangan dah mengigil , rasa nervous gila . I don't know why setiap kali ada something kaitan dengan dia je mesti rasa macam ni especially part jantung and tangan mengigil tu . Lol sawan ke apa aku ni.... kena gi cek doktor ni . Hmm and then apa lagi reply lah kan mesej dia tapi time tu aku call Amal . Waktu dial no dia tu mata dah berair dengan sendirinya dan apabila airmata terlampau banyak berkumpul di kelopak mata maka dengan itu gugurlah sekali lagi airmata aku kerana dia . Setitik , dua titik....... stupid idiot me . Keep hoping to a guy that doesn't care about me at all . Feeling like the stupidest person ever . Stupid -.- then story story dengan Amal . Dia punyalah membebel berbakul bakul aku ni tengah reply memang dengar kejap kejap jelah kat dia . Hehehe ops sorry .

Anyway , sepatutnya harini bahagia je sebab dari birthday aku tahu lepas aku tak sabar - sabar nak tunggu birthday tahun depan and bila dah sampai tak rasa macam birthday langsung . Tak tahu kenapa mood birthday tahun ni dah hilang . Puncanya..... takde siapa tahu . Aku sendiri pun tak tahu . Okay post kali ni sumpah tak best langsung . Mood takde . Hmmmmmmmmmmm anyway... happy 17th birthday to me :)

Assalamualaikum uollsssssssssss hewhew :D lol k koya lebih doe aku ni . Sebenarnyakan aku rasakan lepas aku luahkan apa yang terpendam dalam hati aku kat blog ni aku rasa tenang . Aku rasa macam..... bila teringatkan dia aku rasa kosong . Empty yempty . Lol maybe selama ni aku pendam je belake sampai penuh ruang hati aku so bila sekali aku luahkan semua yang terbuku dalam hati ni fuhhhhhhhhhhhh lega beb lega . 

Tapi...... aku memang macam ni . Maksud aku bila time cuti aku tak jumpa dia aku esok je tak rasa pape kat dia . Rasa macam dah tak sayang tak suka , menyampah , benci kat dia . Actually takdelah taraf benci and menyampah tapi macam aku cakap tadi lah rasa kosong empty yempty . Tetapi ! Bila bukak je sekolah....... *drum roll* aku suka dia semula . Eh ? Apa ni doe -.-'' siaaaaaaaaaaaaa la . Apa masalah aku ni ? Kau guna guna aku ke apa bhaii ? Demmit . Time rehat dah la rehat dekat . Ikutkan hati nak je aku pandang muka dia puas puas tapi bila difikirkan balik aku lupa... aku nak suruh dia benci aku so buat apa aku pandang muka dia walaupun hati ni nak sangat tatap muka dia . Arghhhh insane . Setiap kali waktu sains nak pergi lab lalu depan kelas dia . Nak pandang weh serious nak pandang tapi tak boleh . Haram ! Haha dah lah bella , lupakan . Kau tu nak spm . Spm lagi penting dari dia . Bukannya kau kahwin dengan dia pun .  Nanti kau dah besar kau kerja kau akan jumpa orang lain yang lebih bagus lebih baik daripada dia . Bukaklah pintu hati kau tu untuk lepaskan segala kenangan dan perasaan kau pada dia . Buang je semua tu . Takde makna dah simpan . Useless semua tu .